We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Randomize
