Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(404): View more from Georgia

So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.

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(706): View more from Georgia

That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.

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(705): View more from Ontario

I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith

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(501): View more from Arkansas

Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?

(501): View more from Arkansas

Go back and try to find another to go home with.

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(301): View more from Maryland

Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often

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(540): View more from Virginia

For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.

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(818): View more from California

I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.

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(1-618): View more from Illinois

Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂

(618): View more from Illinois

Your skills amaze me

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(214): View more from Texas

i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.

(1-214): View more from Texas

you are a true champion. bear my children.

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