Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
