Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize
