So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Randomize