Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
