i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
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