He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Randomize
