yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
