Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
i need some magic done to my vagina
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
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