i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
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