its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
I deserve this hangover.
Randomize
