I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
