Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Randomize
