normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
