Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize