I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
only if we run a train.
done.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I didn't notice because vodka
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
