your room smells of hookers.
And success
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Randomize
