actually, I'm a sock model
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
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