I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Randomize