shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Randomize
