HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Randomize
