It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
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