TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
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