At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
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