A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
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