Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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