i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
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I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
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