Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Randomize