Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
