I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Randomize
