Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
