I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
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