On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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