Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
you mean i was at the winter classic?
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
