its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
