well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Randomize
