I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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