Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
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