There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize
