you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Randomize
