let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
