Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
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