Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Randomize
