i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
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