the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
