i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I think people are normalizing furries
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
Randomize
