i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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