Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
