i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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