I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Randomize
