last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
