If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Randomize