Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
