I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Randomize
