do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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