Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Randomize
