Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
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