but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
