mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Tornado booty call.. dedication
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Randomize
