Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
