My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
