false alarm. still invincible.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
