called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize
